Leaving the Matrix

A look into the workings of the mind

Winter 2006 - Garlic and Grass

Imagine an uncle named Jim whom you don't like. Not that there is open animosity, just that the conversations around the dinner table always feel forced. His jokes are bad, his self-image is a bit inflated, and he never misses an opportunity to tell you how your parents failed to live up to their potential. He's a wealthy chap, and when your parents were still alive, he bailed them out of dire financial straits on several occasions, though never without strings attached. And sadly it was the weight of those attached strings that ultimately led to their demise. Now imagine Uncle Jim has suddenly died of a heart-attack. You are the oldest family member still alive, so here you are, at the funeral, delivering his eulogy.

Welcome to the world of voluntary self-censorship, a place where the mind turns into a world-class gymnast, twisting through the jungles of words and experiences with acrobatic grace. It's a place we've all visited, perhaps quite often, a place around which conversations revolve and from which relationships spring. Who could be blamed for not wanting to stay in this comfort zone, for giving a little extra attention to the fragile scaffold with which we build our hopes and dreams? Nobody wants to hear what a royal asshole Uncle Jim was.

A lot of theories are circulating these days about secret corporate conglomerates and think tanks practicing thought control and even creating a matrix within which the boundaries of acceptable thought and expression are defined. While in years past there may have been a poetic way to allude to Uncle Jim's bad temper (with a disarming joke to follow, of course), today in this brave new world our collective consciousness is more inclined to celebrate the good uncle's strong will and determination.

It is plausible that the mechanisms of a matrix are created by a few powerful people at the top, and are then leaked on down through the hierarchies of a "free" and absorbent society. For example, this trickling down of values and ideas might explain how the persistent demonization of our bodies and of all things natural, manufactured by a small minority at the top, could lead to such overblown popular outrage at the sight of Janet Jackson's breast. Weren't we all born with two nipples and haven't we all seen them? Aren't they the cute little glands that beautiful babies suck on so they can become healthy and productive adults? Why then is everybody so afraid of seeing them? How have we been programmed to become utterly obsessed with something so mundane?

Breast Exposure and Mind Control

All of this works both ways, of course. While all signals from above are tuned to non-breast frequencies, the channels of guns, bombs and national pride are set to full blast. It's hardly an enormous stretch of the imagination to link the new flood of Humvees on American streets to "think tank" philosophies of total domination, trickling down and leading to inflated military budgets, bigger and more brutal wars, and ultimately to a populace completely desensitized to images of bombings and torture. How have we been programmed to become so indifferent to war and its horrendous consequences?

There are over 6 billion female breasts on this earth, far more than all tanks, guns, and grenades combined. None of these breasts has ever killed or hurt anybody. To the contrary, it is on these breasts that each of us has found love, comfort and nurturing. Can you imagine what kind of world this could be if breasts and their contribution to humanity received proportional representation in our collective consciousness?

Do you get a sense of absurdity from that last paragraph? Does it strike you as odd, or even awkward, to read about the importance of breasts? I certainly felt a bit ridiculous writing it, and yet it strikes at the heart of our self-censorship, our fear to fall out of line, our embarrassment to say outrageous things even if they are true. Listening to my own thoughts, I hear: "Well son, there goes your chance of getting this baby published. If you could just tone it down a bit you could still get this into the mainstream media."

A crucial question arises: Are we all really just pawns in a bigger game played by a few powerful schemers? Are we all just passengers on an airplane, buckled tightly into our seat, grasping for the occasional comforting word through the intercom that the captain is in full control and will get us to our destination safely? Are there really limitations as to what we can think, say or believe? Do we have no choice but to celebrate Uncle Jim's misdeeds?

The answer to these questions is quite simple. And yet, it involves a very complex body part of ours that we seem to have very little knowledge of and control over: The brain.

Going Back to the Source of Thought

Just as our legs are made for walking and our stomachs are the containers and processors of sustenance, our brains produce thoughts. Some of them help us to function — to eat, to drink, to communicate — yet most of our thoughts are just random chatter drifting through our minds like lost ships in the night. While it feels natural for us to sit down and rest our legs after a long walk, for most of us the mind never turns off.

What makes our brains seem so complicated is that very rarely are we aware of the onslaught of thoughts that stumble through their labyrinths. Try to sit still for even just ten minutes and consciously witness every thought that is passing through, and you'll know what I'm talking about. If you don't do this carefully it might drive you nuts. Witness the repetition, the same old thoughts that keep coming up, again and again. Witness how one thought disappears abruptly, to be replaced by another. Like a dog chasing a stick, our mind clings on to thought patterns, until suddenly the crack of a can of dog-food diverts our attention to the next seductive sound or movement.

The think tanks, of course, have figured out that over 90 percent of our brain, if left to its own devices, behaves like a Golden Retriever. So they tie their agenda to a stick and keep throwing it. That's how advertising works. And of course the people at the top don't just advertise products; they advertise morals and ideas that most of us, since we've never been taught how to be aware of our own thoughts, run after like zealous little puppies. These morals and ideas are dressed up as Republican, Democrat, Christian or scientific. They approach us as belief, credo, statistic, or custom. Yet ultimately they're all stuck to the same bone we find ourselves gnawing on.

All of this originates in the fact that we Western societies have accepted as an unquestioned fact Descartes' axiom, "I think, therefore I am." We've taken this as common knowledge precisely because we've heard it over and over, just as the most chewed-up and slobbered-upon sticks are most attractive to our canine friends. Meanwhile our egos, in true self-fulfilling prophesy, have happily latched on to the theory that they're the crown of creation. Talk about a tail wagging the dog. If we only stop for a minute to become witness to ourselves, we immediately realize that thoughts are neither Truth nor the source of Being. Rather, they are just one of many tools we're equipped with to navigate our limitless, mysterious, and inexplicably beautiful higher selves through a temporary physical existence on planet earth.

So here we are, under the assumption that all the buzz constantly running through our heads somehow offers an explanation as to what really is and to who we really are. In reality, the buzz consists only of sound-byte banners of what we think is and, specifically, of who we think we are. By identifying our thoughts as ultimate truth and reality, we create in our minds fertile ground for any kind of matrix — regardless of what the parameters are and who sets them. It is our own minds that keep chasing that seemingly tasty bone.

The bad news is that we are collectively trapped in the matrix of our mind. This matrix keeps us chasing after self-imposed delusions. It feeds on our desires and fears. And then it turns around and feeds us more desires and fears. We keep wanting to chase after the stick for we are afraid to lose it. Likewise, the desire for Humvees and bigger military budgets is rooted in the fear that we might get bullied or terrorized. In Uncle Jim's case we feel the need to deliver a positive eulogy for fear of being different, of being chastised, of being punished. Our minds keep playing that same trick on us, over and over, keeping our thoughts on our fears and our desires. They are prey for even the most mediocre marketeer or propagandist.

Repossessing Our Minds

The good news is that we don't have to remain stuck in this game of run and fetch. We can leave the matrix. For beneath the convoluted house of cards that is our thoughts lies the incredibly simple essence of our true being. Let's call it the soul. There, deep inside ourselves, dwells true freedom, the freedom to watch the stick being thrown and the freedom to enjoy its twists and turns without having to run after it.

Deep down there also dwells ever-present knowledge that we are timeless souls traveling in temporary vessels. Death, our ultimate fear, our ultimate enemy when inserted into the chatter of our thoughts, is but a healthy part of the journey through the human body. While not always easy, death is a readily embraceable rite of passage. Understanding the power and grace of accepting our own mortality unravels so many of our other fears and desires as well. It allows us to deliver a respectful and truthful eulogy, taking away the gun powder of our minds that feeds the weapons of the matrix.

So how do we do it? How can we diffuse the explosive material carried by our thoughts, and step out of our own matrix and that of the think tanks?

The first, and probably most important understanding is that all change happens from within, and that we can only transcend any kind of societal matrix if we become aware of our own participation in it.

Secondly, once we realize that this important work takes place on the inside, we should feel comfortable dedicating more time to observing our own thoughts. The great thing about it is that we can do this at any time and in any place. We only need to be doing it purposefully and with full awareness. Call it your patriotic (or matriotic) duty.

Thirdly, once we are paying attention to all the voices in our head, it is important not to judge them. Just listen to the voices. Observe them. "Oh, here's a good thought — that's all right." Or "OK, there's a horrible thought — that's all right, too." If you start labeling your thoughts, remember that that's what thoughts do in the wild landscape of our mind, and say: "OK, now I'm labeling my thoughts — how interesting!"

It may seem a bit odd and simplistic to suggest that the numerous external problems facing humanity could be solved by just paying attention to our thoughts — that being mindful could be the most radical political action in the book. But think about it for a moment. (And yes, think clearly). To take responsibility for our own thought processes is to decentralize the monopolies that the think tanks and other elites exercise on our internal and external chatter, and to reclaim our own power to speak from a deeper, more authentic, more truthful place. To understand the workings of our own minds, and thus be able to touch the core of our own hearts is nothing short of revolutionary. This is where the greatest power lies.

And should we get chastised at Uncle Jim's funeral for being honest, we can be confident that the cries of outrage are primarily the aching wails of a crumbling matrix.

Bamboo Evolution

A renewable resource is coming of age

January 2006 - Eco Structure

To be persuaded of the physical qualities and inherent environ- mental values of bamboo, one need not venture into faraway and exotic lands. Who hasn’t heard a friend or neighbor complain about bamboo taking over their backyard? A long sigh followed by “It’s beautiful, but it’s just so resistant and fast growing!” tells the story of this grass—that many consider wood—better than a long list of technical specifications. However, if you’re an architect or designer, the fact that bamboo can be manufactured into planks and sheets of up to 3,000 pounds per square inch in hardness with a slip-resistance coefficient of well above 0.5 makes for a convincing spec sheet to back up the anecdotal evidence.

Bamboo's Green History

Used for centuries in Asia and other tropical parts around the world for everything from construction material to food, bamboo as a commercially viable building resource did not reach U.S. shores until the late 1980s. Once it gained a foothold, however, word of bamboo’s many benefits spread as rapidly as its shoots. Within a decade, laminated bamboo flooring entered mainstream consciousness, becoming a household name among professionals and homeowners alike. Bamboo flooring’s proven track record of strength and durability, along with growing public environmental concern, provided a fertile breeding ground for manufacturers to take the “supergrass” to the next level, resulting in a whole range of interior building materials, from veneer and paneling to dense and sturdy plyboard.

Today there’s hardly a traditional wood species that bamboo can’t compete with in terms of durability and diversity of application. Sheets are up to 1 1/2-inches (38-mm) thick and 13-feet (4-m) long; standard sheets tend to be 3/4 by 48 by 96 inches (19 by 1219 by 2438 mm). They can be custom stained and treated to meet Class A fire-rating requirements. Some of the leading manufacturers of bamboo products have managed to reduce adhesive formaldehyde levels to zero, making bamboo plyboard a truly green alternative not only for its renewable qualities but for its eco-friendly construction.

Testimonials

Kelly Hill and Larisa Pedroncelli of Factory 1 Design in San Francisco have been working with bamboo sheet goods since 1998, custom building furniture and architectural elements for commercial and residential interiors. “Obviously, the sustainable sourcing aspect was one of the first things that drew us to bamboo ply,” says Hill, adding that one of the greatest benefits of working with bamboo plyboard is the consistency of the material.

“Bamboo ply benefits our design process because of the strength of the material. It carries a great load-bearing capacity and often allows for longer spans than conventional plywoods, giving us greater flexibility and creativity from design to fabrication.”

For Pedroncelli, a compelling reason for using bamboo plyboard lies in the timeless nature of the color and grain of the edge grain sheet goods. “Working with the edge grain takes on an abstracted nature, especially on a large scale or when it is stained. Many people don’t recognize it as bamboo until you look closely. Its ability to take stain and clear finishes further abstracts the material.”

Hill and Pedroncelli are convinced bamboo plyboard holds an intrigue edge over common wood products, making it a material that will outlast trends and be a staple for years to come. And if this rise in popularity continues, who is to say that there couldn’t be a domestic infrastructure to support its commercial growth? Just keep looking out the rear window.

Transformative Music

Interview with bassist Kai Eckhardt

Fall 2004 - The You in Me

Kai Eckhardt is a renowned bass player who has played with such greats as John McLaughlin, Trilok Gurtu, Zakir Hussain, George Brooks and many others. Born in Germany to a Liberian father and a German mother, he began to play the bass at age 13 and later studied at Berklee School of Music in Boston, where he was invited to play with various members of Miles Davis' bands. Kai currently showcases his extraordinary talent and shining spirit with Garaj Mahal, a multicultural grunge funk outfit that is tirelessly touring and spreading its revolutionary musical vibes all around North America. In the following interview he reveals some of his deeper motivations for being a musician and how music can play a vital role in creating the kind of interactions needed in the shift toward a more collective consciousness on Planet Earth.

Sven Eberlein: In your biography it is mentioned that the last few years you've been more and more interested in art as transformation, as a vehicle that can overcome all the divisions between humans. Do you feel like we are all in this together, on a level that's beyond our physical realities and maybe even beyond individual lifetimes?

Kai Eckhardt: Yes, I really believe so. John McLaughlin, for instance, believes if there is a trio on stage, this trio has to connect first as a unit, and then draw people and their intentions in. Then people will connect to that and have a positive experience to a degree where they can walk home from a concert and have an added sense of problem-solving skills and feeling at ease with who they are. The purpose of art is to provide a healing environment for humanity in which people can breathe and feel save. At the same time this is a paradox because as an artist I don't have control over who comes to the concert and what everyone's political background is, whether they're Bush supporters or transvestites. The question is what can I do to get past these boundaries.

SE: Do you think life on earth is about bigger things? Are we here to learn and evolve as souls and to improve the conditions and the process in which we evolve rather than clinging on to our egos and get caught up in things like revenge and resentment?

KE: Yes, and I believe that with our prayers and positive thoughts and feelings about people and all things we create a beautiful reality. If we're paranoid and deny our own responsibility we create exactly what we don't want. So we might as well do something positive and see what happens in the long run, even if it's hard and it hurts.

SE: It's easy to become an existentialist and say that nothing matters, but it seems like it's more about the process of improving things.

KE: Exactly.

SE: So if you as a musician can inspire just a few people to realize they hold the power for the entire universe, you're really on to something. With all the negativity in the world right now, do you still feel that energy leaking through? Is there something happening?

KE: Yes. You know, it's like when it's dark and you see the morning coming, there is this dim light. It's just like that, and it pushes through everything really slowly. In a way, the more I tune into that, the more I facilitate it, the more it comes out that way. It's good, because it's the kind of energy that everyone could be freaking out about, like someone loses their wallet while you're just sitting calmly and you reach out to give it back to him. Or your children are totally flipped out and you just reassure them "It's going to be OK." It gives you a provider role, in which you are the universe and you can feel your own transformation as if it's the most natural thing. The day isn't afraid of the night, and the night isn't afraid of the day, they know their respective proportions. That's what I want to tune into - I think all the suffering is just imbalance. Life in balance is not about suffering, but suffering is important because it's the indicator of imbalance, it's honest.

SE:..an invitation to work on yourself?

KE: Yes, you know, people feel justified not to take responsibility because it's the fault of the white man, of rich people, or of their parents, but as long as I feel that it's somebody else's fault I will suffer. As long as I'm angry at that other person I am a slave to that symbiotic relationship that has no growth.

SE: So whether you're the victim or the oppressor doesn't matter because you're caught up in that vicious cycle. Where does forgiveness come in?

KE: To forgive is a powerful act. In that moment I'm holding the karmic scepter in my hand. I can either bless this person and take away all kinds of negativity and destroy it in that moment - it stops right here with me - or I can pass it on and feel that sense of satisfaction that revenge gives me, which is always tempting.

SE: But it'll just keep coming back...

KE: ...it'll keep coming back, and that's how it works. September 11th, can you imagine what would have happened if the US had come out and said that it was wrong and terrible but at the same time acknowledged our past involvements like training the Taliban? That now we are going to change our philosophy and our way of life, determined to get a new start? But there are still too many people in the United States who feel that revenge is their divine right and who undermine forgiveness with biblical scriptures and dogma. As long as that's there, it feels like a big callous.

SE: It's not easy to find direction in this current world with all its bloody wars and exploitation. Do you think music has the power to bring about change and do you think musicians should speak out against injustices or just let their instruments speak? Are there any political issues that are close to your heart?

KE: This goes back to art and social change, the responsibility of the artist to be at the center of the paradigm shift. How can we have a good time as people, despite the fact that some of us are black or white, some of us are Indian, some are poor, some of us healthy, some have a disease, some have money, some don't, and how do we get over these negative emotions that we project onto each other. I believe that if we could harmonize our energy as human beings, being a collective force, you would see an amazing and beautiful transformation, the alleviation of a lot of pain that would lift people up. What is happening is that we're directing negativity against each other, we're blaming each other for our own misery. It happens on a family level, on a community level, and on a national and international level. It's energy directed toward its own center, unable to flow. I always look at the human race as being an individual organism. So one really creative and powerful approach to solving these problems is to initiate dialogue between people of different backgrounds through the use of images. This is an anonymous way of people relating their experiences to each other. Such an experiment has been done a few times, and Garaj Mahal will do it again during our upcoming shows in Canada. The Canadians are very progressive and they will work together with me on this. They are going to provide a digital projector and a screen which will be set up on the side so the band as well as the audience can see the images. We put out an email to our fans: "We want to know your feelings about the new year, and can you represent your feelings in one image." So within one week 200 jpgs came in...

SE: Like art, collages and photos...?

KE: Yes. This is a simple initial step for people to relate their emotions without any censorship. Because it's anonymous it goes right back to that collective ritual of purging yourself from the things you struggle with on the inside by putting them on the outside. So while you're trancing out in the audience you're actually looking at yourself and you also get the chance to see what's going on in other people's heads. If you consider this as Step I, the second step would be for people to draw themselves using these images. For instance, you could take a group of people coming together to solve a community problem and say "let's set up an almost constitutional set of topics related to the pictures shown". One of them could be "What is my worst problem right now." Now that would be a very intimate picture, right? Since it's anonymous you can represent your picture without revealing your identity. You can have that series followed by "What are our blessings, what are the things we can be proud of?" Then the next image could be "What is the first step toward a solution?" Again, can you see the collective subconscious at work here?

SE: It's like working with archetypes.

KE: Yes, exactly! You call up the archetypes through the event. You can say "Represent yourself in three pictures - where you came from, where you are now, and where you are going." That would be a way people could get to know each other, and I have the feeling that even though people in the room don't know who put up what image, the emotions they emanate while they see their pictures are still the same as if they were talking to somebody. That's the value of it, this release. If somebody could create an event and do it really specifically, intelligently and sensitive to the human condition, one could take that event as a type of precursor to a serious debate where people come together to really solve problems. Again, this is something I learned from the Africans. When the Africans have a serious problem they call all the spirits that know about the problem. In rituals they have shamans dress up as the problem who act out the problem in this wild way, and everybody goes "yeah, and this husband did this to that woman, and here comes this entity." They all get emotionally worked up, and then finally they sit down and talk. Western culture did away with that. It said "let's just elect a few people and have them be the representatives of our problems. Once we elect them they can do whatever they want."

SE: And we approach music in the same way, we create this spectacle where we put musicians up on a big stage and say: "Entertain us!"

KE: Yes, and I don't want that. I want to do everything I can to dissolve that. I want people to come to a show thinking "I am making this show happen tonight, I am coming with my own energy and I am going to make it happen." If people have that kind of confidence and that kind of sense of responsibility for the outcome of the situation, it will lift up the human race to deal with everything, even global warming. Even if there is such a thing as the apocalypse, you know the end times, if we reach that threshold with integrity there will be that sense of "wow, we are all together now."

SE: Seems like there is a big wave of people who don't believe in that dogma anymore and realize that we're just accumulating karma, all the stuff that's happening in Iraq and Afghanistan, it'll just keep coming. Our leaders always speak of power as in who has the biggest weapon, but what about the power of wisdom?

KE: I feel like not everyone is ready for it, nor can I tell a mother or father what to do or think if their child is killed, because I know that's my worst nightmare. In a way you have to be careful to not be a snob either, as in "oh, you don't have the power to forgive." No, I have to say "this is real injury", and so the harder the situation that we're in as people, the greater the opportunity to show greatness. It's easy for me to be cool and balanced if I have more money than I need and all my bills are paid every month. But if I'm struggling to survive, incurring debt, and my family is sick and I'm burned out from the road, in that state of mind my world shrinks and I am overpowered by a strong life-negating emotional undercurrent. I react instead of responding carefully. This is universal and every human will feel this undertow in a stressful situation. There is a pull toward entropy coming from the day to day experience of what seems hopeless. To overcome the chronic effect of long-term struggle is the top challenge. Well to do people with a cushioned lifestyle for the most part don't understand that. This is one of the reasons people in challenged positions feel humiliated and insulted by the condescending attitudes of the rich, the privileged, the often careless, and the mostly clueless. Nevertheless we all have the power to move away from the downward spiral and to use the power of our consciously directed will in order to defeat misery. And before we can do that we have to assume responsibility and admit to mistakes of the past. After that we have to go through the labor of actually defining what we really want. Then we have to create a sensible plan to pre-empt chronic problems, eventually overcoming them. No plan — no escape from Negativeland. I have been there more than once and I have learned my lesson. Thankfully I am blessed with an amazing wife and wonderful children. Nowadays despair is not an option. I owe it to them. If the blues comes I tell myself: Pain is also energy. Use it! I now use that energy to create something productive. A new piece of music, a poem, an action plan, an act of courage. A meaningful gesture, an ordeal, a sacrifice. I have tried it. It works.

SE: If you had to describe your role in this world in just a few words, what would it be?

KE: To be a decent person, a decent father, a decent husband, a decent musician in the eyes of eternity. To be a refined mirror that reflects the boundless infinity of the universe in which I live and die. To never stop evolving in life, to be a great provider, to be at peace with myself regardless of the circumstances, to have fun. To be loving and to inspire faith in humanity beyond the call of duty.

Fahrenheit 9/11 Wakes Us Up

From Michael Moore to Harry Potter

Summer 2004 - Garlic and Grass

You've probably seen Michael Moore's new movie, Fahrenheit 9-11. If not, you're planning to see it over the coming weeks. Good. During its opening weekend, I was invited to see it twice. I went both times.

Each time, I came out of the cinema feeling both disturbed and bewildered by images of our cynical government, its deceptiveness, and its blood-thirsty war-mongering. Though sad, it's a great movie, and I hope that many, many folks will go see it, especially those who might still believe the current administration's rhetoric about good intentions and supporting freedom and democracy around the world.

I am writing today, though, to share my growing concern that the extent of our government's capacity to make bad things happen may not be limited to ignorance, stupidity, and incompetence. It's grown ever clearer to me that our government may be in the hands of those who have a capacity for deliberate and premeditated actions to hurt its own citizens for economic and political gain.

I'm talking not just about the passage of countless acts to take away civil liberties and rights (e.g. PATRIOT Act), destabilize the world (e.g. withdrawal from the Anti Ballistic Missile treaty), or plunder the earth's resources (e.g. Healthy Forests initiative, withdrawal from the Kyoto treaty). No, I'm more specifically looking at the event that led the American people and Congress to give the administration an all-out blank check to do whatever it pleases: The attacks of September 11th, 2001.

Too Much to Bear for One Human Soul

To be honest, I didn't think much about the specifics of that attack for quite some time. The magnitude of the events and their sheer horror imprinted into my subconscious an idea that someone larger and more important than my own little self would surely figure out exactly what had happened and take care of the situation.

For example, when Osama Bin Laden's face came beaming from the TV screen within hours of the attacks, it seemed to make perfect sense that he had done it. Surely the people in our government and the good folks at the TV networks knew so much more than I did, and their confidence and natural ease in speaking a verdict without trial had to be founded in solid proof. The fact that the North Tower of the World Trade Center, which had been hit first, collapsed long after the South Tower did, seemed kind of strange, but that thought was quickly replaced with the notion that my little artist self, who can't even fix his own computer, shouldn't even think of inciting the laws of physics.

It was all just too much to bear for one soft and caring human soul, and I decided that the most effective and important thing I could do in the face of so much violence and destruction was to put as many loving vibrations as I possibly could out into the world. I knew that the government would retaliate and that there was nothing I could physically do about it, so I focused on being a better musician and a kinder human being. I envisioned bringing more joy and warmth into the world, because it was needed then more than ever. Before anyone was even ready to think about who and what really hit us, George Bush was taking us on a wild ride through Afghanistan, and shortly thereafter, Iraq. I mean, really, who could find the time or mental capacity still to wonder why none of the planes that were wildly straying off course on 9-11 were intercepted by the world's most advanced air force when you're busy being outraged about your government attacking other countries for no good reason?

9-11 had become yesterday's news. It was a tragedy imprinted in our collective consciousness, not so much as a specific event with exact dates and times and occurrences, but rather as an almost archetypal or mythical feeling. 9-11 became known as "the day everything changed," rather than as the day of a specific crime that should be investigated and solved.

Waking Up, Becoming Harry Potter

For those of you who've read any of the Harry Potter books, I'd like to invoke Lord Voldemort (He Who Must Not Be Named). Lord Voldemort is the character that is so evil that just the thought of him will send shivers down your spine — so best never to think of him or wonder why he is so evil. The whole world of wizards is so paralyzed and terrified by his image that they begin to censor themselves in order to keep themselves sheltered from a truth too painful even to consider. But of course we all know that every story has a hero.

In this case, it is all of us who are challenged to find the Harry Potter within ourselves, the naturally curious and always questioning part of ourselves that is not afraid of the truth regardless of the outcome.

To begin, there are a lot of unanswered questions in regard to what exactly happened on September 11, 2001. For an idea of some of these questions, I highly recommend a recently published book called The New Pearl Harbor - Disturbing Questions about the Bush Administration and 9-11, by David Ray Griffin (Olive Branch Press - www.interlinkbooks.com). It's a gripping and well-written collection of all the facts and questions pertaining to the occurrences of that day, and to the events leading up to it. It is not a preachy left-wing book, but rather a dispassionate, systematic study of the facts and evidence that make the official version almost impossible to believe.

Was it just sheer incompetence that on this particular day, the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD), which routinely intercepts aircrafts (meaning guiding them back on course, not shooting them down), and the National Military Command Center (NMCC) allowed 4 civil airplanes to go off course over a span of almost 2 hours and fly into America's most populated areas, including Washington D.C, the world's most heavily guarded airspace? And if so, how come nobody has gotten fired or reprimanded? If it really was just massive human error, how come the administration keeps obstructing and stonewalling any effort to simply shed some light on what happened?

There are many more questions, from how two steel enforced buildings can turn into tiny heaps of dust from fires that are hardly burning, to how the debris of Flight 93 could be strewn across 8 miles in the Pennsylvania countryside without the plane having exploded in the air, to the question of who benefits from it all. But I urge you not to take my word for it. Look into it yourself.

A Time for Courage and Introspection

I believe in karma, and from my own perspective it is completely unthinkable that anyone — of any creed or heritage — could commit such a heinous crime. Yet this is not the first time that human beings have inflicted the kind of pain on each other whose description I lack words for. What I'm learning once again is that good and evil aren't outside of us; their potential lives within us all. Deeply, I know this. I know that I myself am capable of peace and of violence, of loving and of hating. And with that awareness I can develop compassion for all humans, because we are all confronted with the same choices — choices that reflect how we respond to our situation or karma.

I am saying this about introspection because the biggest obstacle we face in looking at the truth about 9-11 — whatever it may be — is that the only version of it that we seem to be able to live with is the official one about an evil foreign attacker who is completely separate from us and all that we think we embody. To consider that some of our own could have been complicit in such an atrocity would be to acknowledge that we ourselves could have such capacity, which evokes an almost existential fear. We like to be good humans, but if it's too hard to be good sometimes, we at least like to maintain the illusion of our goodness. Yet when we refuse to acknowledge our dark side, it comes back to haunt us in ways that we cannot control.

Remember, we have a tremendous opportunity to look at the facts about 9-11 with heroic, curious minds. We can be Harry Potter. No matter what the outcome, we owe it to ourselves and to the healing processes of our soul, to shed our fear of a potentially dark and disturbing truth, and investigate what really happened on "the day everything changed."

With this in mind, I urge you to think about 9-11 as if you'd never heard anything about it. Be a jury objectively deliberating a case without the influence of popular opinion. I'm eager to hear what you come up with, as I personally am not completely sure what happened that day. I just know that what we believe happened that day can't possibly be the truth.

With love, blessings and a clear mind poking through the haze.

Cycles of Change

Astrology, Awareness and Activism

April 2004 - The Psychic Reader

Life operates in cycles. In each lifetime we experience one physical birth and one physical death, but in between we go through countless births and deaths, some big, some small. Losing a friend. Moving to a new town. Letting go of a previous assumption. Falling in love. These cycles are reflected in the planets orbiting around the sun and the earth rotating around its own axis. As above, so below. As around, so within.

For thousands of years, astrology, the ancient science of the stars, has interpreted influences of heavenly bodies upon human affairs, foretelling events by their position and aspects. Astrology's foundation is the zodiac, an imaginary belt in the heavens comprised of twelve constellations, in the middle of which is the ecliptic, or sun's path. The houses of the zodiac are divisions of the space above and below our local horizon, representing twelve different areas of human identity and activity, and which can be read in various sequences. The 12th to 1st house sequence of the zodiac cycle signifies the process and possibility of conscious action. With planet Earth once again entangled in wars and quagmires and with the number of concerned humans growing all around the globe, it seems timely to take a closer look at how we can transform our internal resources and consciousness (12th house) into concrete action (1st house).

It is tempting to look at the 12th house as the be-all end-all, the destination of a lifetime. Having gone full circle through the worldly trials and tribulations of life (1st through 11th houses) we might find that elusive tree under which to blissfully while away our remaining time (or timelessness). However, chances are the tree is going to get hit by lightning and fall on our heads, leading us to spend our precious enlightened time doing physical therapy. (Just ask Ram Dass.) It is important to remember the cyclical nature of the zodiac and of life itself, understanding the 12th house not as the final exclamation point but rather as a preparation for the next evolutionary phase, the ascendant and following 1st house.

Shirley MacLaine and Jimmy Carter are our famous 12th to 1st house activists featured in this article, supported by Therese Marie Rittenbach, a younger Bay Area activist. I have chosen the charts of these three individuals because they show the many ways of accessing this vast 12th house ocean that prepares us for 1st house courage and manifestation.

Whether you're swimming naked under the moon, diving off a cliff, or cruising on a party boat, the ocean itself remains unchanged and mysterious, its ultimate truth and oneness to be experienced from all angles. Or, in the cases of Shirley MacLaine, Jimmy Carter or Therese Marie Rittenbach, whether you are riding the vehicles of the occult, Christianity or art, the destination of truth in action stays in focus.

Shirley MacLaine
In Shirley MacLaine's chart we see a Moon-Neptune conjunction in Virgo, signifying a deep and intuitive nature that feels (Moon) very much at home with the mysterious flow of the universe (Neptune in the 12th house). So as not to get swept away in this current that could easily feel like a fantastic dream, picky Virgo ruling the 12th house keeps questioning and fact-checking the seemingly endless stream of otherworldly information.

So here is Shirley on her first trip to Peru in 1970, with her 9th house progressed Sun in Gemini (making her quite receptive to a wide variety of spiritual experiences) square Neptune in Virgo in the 12th. While traveling in Peru she witnesses the flight of a UFO. This onslaught of information (Gemini) and all its philosophical implications (9th house) is inviting her cautious and analytical Virgo 12th house to open up its spiritual floodgates. It certainly becomes a milestone in a long chain of events that slowly prepare her (Virgo) to surrender to the existence of other worlds (12th house).

But it is not until over ten years later, in the early 1980s, that a series of journeys leads her to finally accept all the strange and mysterious realities she has been presented with so far. Encounters with past life partners in New York and London, a trance channeler in Stockholm, and finally an out-of-body experience on another trip high up in the mountains of Peru convince her inner skeptic that proof is not needed for matters of the soul. This is the ultimate manifestation of a Neptune-Moon conjunction in Virgo surrendering to the 12th house, integrating these two seemingly contradictory forces.

In the final pages of her memoir Out on a Limb (published in 1983), Shirley writes, "Maybe one could never prove whether the soul existed or not. I wasn't sure that that even mattered. Perhaps reality was only what one believed it to be anyway. That would make all perceived realities real. Maybe that was the lesson I was learning - learning to think with unlimitedness...to believe that anything is possible...to believe that one can do anything, soar anywhere, become everything. Maybe one human soul was everything. And such a reality was up to each of us to relearn."

She decision to publish her otherworldly experiences without fear of the consequences is a huge turning point in Maclaine’s life, triggering her evolution into a conscious activist. With Uranus and Jupiter in Sagittarius transiting through the 3rd house and forming a solid square with natal Moon and then Neptune in the first half of 1983, the stage is finally set for the release of Out on a Limb.

The square signifies that not all the information released in the book was met with unconditional love and adoration (as even the writer of this article was met with mild snickering upon announcement of Shirley's chart selection), but the huge mainstream success of the book proved that here was a woman who had confronted herself and her inner struggles extensively, and through all the trials and tribulations had gained a remarkable confidence in her spirituality.

Facing interviews and skepticism is an important part in her evolution to integrate the lessons of the 12th house into 1st house expression. It ultimately paves the way for her tremendous popularity, not just as a film star and writer, but as a respected and much loved spokeswoman for matters of the soul. In order to become this authentic public figure she has to spend over half of her life painstakingly researching all the psychic invitations that beckon her from all directions, releasing bit by bit the information that has been approved by her own doubting Virgo instinct.

Just as Shirley MacLaine's chart had taken me on a somewhat unexpected journey, a closer look at Jimmy Carter's spirit and personality turned out to be a change in perspective. I had heard about his "spiritual experience" and supposed UFO sightings, so when his name kept appearing throughout Shirley MacLaine's books I was certain that here was another soul who had built his tremendous drive all the way to the presidency through otherworldly and out-of-body experiences.

However, getting acquainted with the president's chart and his autobiography revealed a different story.

Jimmy Carter
The sun, that brightest of all planets, the ultimate life force in our neck of the universal woods and thus within ourselves, lights up Jimmy Carter's 12th house. At the moment he first graced our lovely Planet Earth on October 1st, 1924, it was in the sign of Libra, emphasizing a yearning for peace and civility. Here we see a soul whose very essence is deeply linked to exploring the grand mysteries of life through social engagements, creating peaceful and harmonious interactions with fellow seekers and relationships with a higher source.

It should have come as no surprise to discover Jimmy Carter's lifelong devotion to Jesus Christ and his southern Baptist congregation in Plains, Georgia. In his 1996 bestseller Living Faith he writes, "The closest fellowship Rosalynn (Carter's wife) and I have with those outside our family is through the Maranatha Baptist Church. But church does not mean just "Maranatha" or "Baptist" or "Protestant"; it is the totality of those united in the love of Christ. The ultimate vision of the church should be as a worldwide community in which all believers are joined. As I have come to know, reaching out to others in the name of God can be one of the most deeply rewarding experiences any person can enjoy."

This is beautiful imagery for a 12th house Libra Sun, especially considering the rulership of Venus in Leo in the 10th house in conjunction with the Moon's North Node and Neptune, feeling right at home with the idea of a worldwide community in which all believers are joined. Throughout Jimmy Carter's accounts of his spiritual life, from his fond recollections of memorizing bible verses at the age of three, to joining missions to Eastern barrios, to teaching Sunday school in his hometown after his presidency, faith serves as a social forum. And what better way to express this powerful 12th house Libra-Venus energy but through a religious institution as popular and communal as Christianity.

If this were all there is to Jimmy Carter's 12th house, he would most likely be riding into the sunset enshrined, embalmed and declared a saint. But a much darker force looms in the afternoon sky. Distant yet piercing Pluto, retainer of subconsciously repressed wounds and conveyer of truth, squares his Sun from 13 degrees Cancer in the 9th house.

It's almost as if these symbols in President Carter's chart represent the dichotomy of Christianity itself: A sunny and faithful public face, believing in the good of humanity, confronted by the denial and taboo (Pluto) of behavior that doesn't fit into the parameter of such a belief system (9th house). With Pluto in Cancer, the darker side of Jimmy Carter's wounded soul is deeply personal. Yet in order for him to learn his 12th house lessons and expand his consciousness beyond the boundaries of established belief systems, he has to allow for his Plutonian pain to surface through his religious optimism.

What better way for a 12th house Libra but to deal with his deepest wounds through the trials of marriage? In true Plutonian fashion, he writes about themes of power and oppression in his early married years:

"Rosalynn was timid around other people then, and eager to accommodate my wishes. For some reason, I was not always able or willing to talk with Rosalynn about problems or worries, and she was uncomfortable when I was silent or uncommunicative, concerned that I was displeased with her or falling out of love. Sometimes she cried, and I became angry and even more withdrawn when I could not see any reason for her tears. Despite our love, it was not always easy for us to adjust to each other."

Traumatic events following the death of his father coupled with a relentless soul search lay the framework for a conscious 1st house manifestation. Saturn in Scorpio in the 1st house points at natural leadership and a strong will; but crusty old Saturn, especially with its Pluto rulership, imposes its trials and tribulations, constantly testing the resolve and durability of its protagonist.

After taking over his father's peanut plantation, Jimmy Carter stares right into the ugly face of racism so ubiquitous during that time in the South. His decision to do business with black customers almost costs him his livelihood, but despite boycotts, threats and insults from his community, he holds firm in his beliefs of equality. Saturn in Scorpio is rejoicing!

We can see how this is the emergence of Jimmy Carter as a conscious activist. Drawing from the depths of his soul he stands tall against a terrible injustice (12th house Libra sun integrated with 1st house Saturn in Scorpio). With a Scorpio Moon in the 1st house ruled by Pluto, he deeply feels the dark and ancient pain of racism. Then, in true manifestation of loving and egalitarian principles (Libra Ascendant), he defies the racist climate to act in accordance with his Christian ideals. A verse from the bible that might have acted as a guiding light for him during this time comes to mind: "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?"

In 1966 a middle-aged Jimmy Carter is called to task again. With major lifetime transits (transiting Uranus opposite natal Uranus and transiting Neptune square natal Neptune, calling for unexpected change and challenging his spiritual foundation) he decides to run for governor of Georgia and loses to avowed segregationist, Lester Maddox. Both transiting Uranus and Pluto are also conjunct his natal Mercury in Virgo ruling his 12th house, leaving him in deep gut-level shock at the sudden impact of this humiliating defeat. The loss is so great that he questions the basic goodness of humanity (Uranus and Pluto ganging up on natal 11th house Mercury in Virgo).

What follows this most difficult time in Jimmy Carter's life is a profound talk with his sister Ruth who implores him to look at the inherent gift in his depression (12th house Pluto-Mercury in Virgo work). She tells him, "Jimmy, you have to believe that out of this defeat can come greater life. When we face trials with courage, we learn to endure and pray for wisdom." Once again he turns inward into deep 12th house territory, expanding his horizons of faith which ultimately gives him the strength and confidence to win the Georgia governor ship and the presidency (1st house Saturn in Scorpio).

In order to understand his growth as a wise leader we have to look deeply into the constant dark and destructive forces this soul is confronted with. In 1979, with the progressed Moon returning to a natal Scorpio Moon in the 1st house and forming a grand trine with Pluto and Uranus, he faces the challenge of his life: A sudden crisis brought on by religious fanatics (his natal Uranus is in Pisces) who take American hostages in a far away country (Pluto in the 9th). With Saturn and Jupiter conjunct his 12th house Libra Sun right before election time in 1980 he holds firm to his belief in nonviolence, which ultimately costs him the presidency.

It is fascinating to observe how surrendering to loss and defeat is the essential ingredient in moving this soul forward and creating the wisdom that enables him to become an activist beholden only to his own conscience. Despite, or maybe because of his presidential defeat, Jimmy Carter goes on to found the Carter Center and Habitat for Humanity, eventually winning the Nobel Peace Prize for his incessant efforts to support the disadvantaged and bring peace and justice to countries all around the world.

In his own words, Jimmy Carter best describes the key to navigating a Libra 12th house to Scorpio 1st house progression authentically and toward positive social change. "When I return to my beginnings, I see a number of times when what I believed I wanted most was challenged by a more difficult path. When I had the courage to choose that path, even in the midst of despair and uncertainty, I was given a glimpse of deeper truths that continue to sustain me."
Welcome to Jimmy Carter's world of enlightened action.

The question now is: What can a new generation of activists learn from their elders?
I've chosen Bay Area activist Therese Marie Rittenbach's chart to show that we don't have to be a famous actress or an ex-President to draw from our deepest source in order to make a difference in the world. I first met Therese in the mid 1990s when we were working together on bringing a cultural arts center to the blue-collar town of Hayward, California. After failing to do so, we both moved on to explore new ways of changing the world, keeping each other posted on our discoveries. Her chart reveals yet another path to action borne of deep immersion into the great mystic ocean.

Therese Marie Rittenbach
For Therese it's a move to New Orleans in April of 1997 that triggers the exuberant Sagittarius energy of her 12th house. With transiting Pluto in a conjunction with 12th house Neptune she begins work at Marie Laveau's voodoo shop. While sick with a fever she has a vision about starting Living Spirits, a store devoted to spiritual art, social justice and education about the Caribbean. Can you imagine how a 12th house Jupiter-Mercury conjunction in Sagittarius trined by a natal 8th house Leo Moon would react to the excess of New Orleans mixed with the spiritual stimuli of voodoo? Take late nights of deep conversations about the meaning of life, mix it with food, fun and spirits, and you get the picture of a wild woman bathing in all that life has to offer to the body and the soul.

On the shadow side of this cosmic orgy we see delusion and depression—the hangover of the gods. Yet in its purest form these 12th house soul parties open the floodgates to Therese's creative vision. In true 12th house fashion she explores the boundaries (or lack thereof) of all these energies, which is often painful (she experiences substance abuse and depression) yet necessary to do her deep soul work. In the second half of 2000 with transiting Jupiter coming to Saturn in Gemini and opposing Neptune, as well as Saturn returning, she writes about a change in consciousness. "I was very much caught up in the Mardi Gras spirit all year, but also felt that it was something I needed to do. I also got much more seriously (Saturn) into a form of meditation practice involving breath work and prayer."

One of Therese's most consistent channels to the soul over the years has been artistic expression. Traveling to mystic New Orleans (Jupiter in Sagitarius in the 12th house) helped to broaden her artistic scope into expressing the deeper messages inherent in a loaded 12th house. Her newly-found medium of devotional altars appears as a perfect marriage of art, faith and the occult, laying the framework for a conscious navigation through 1st house territory.

With Saturn in Gemini opposing natal Neptune and ruling the 1st house Capricorn Sun from the 5th house, there is a clear invitation to channel her wild and creative energy into a concrete discipline (or multiple disciplines, in the spirit of Gemini). Therese currently teaches altar making workshops, runs the Living Spirits web site, is on the board of a nonprofit organization promoting community arts and runs a group called The 2 Minute Activist, organizing discussions and actions on serious issues facing our world. There is still much living and exploring to do, but already we can see how a younger activist is finding her true voice by diving into the dire straits of consciousness.

What's important in all three of the charts we've looked at is to understand that conscious activism is not only manifest in specific and publicly recognized actions, such as writing a book, founding Habitat for Humanity, or teaching a class. Action inspired by consciousness doesn't like to be confined to certain times, places or circumstances. Demonstrations are important and powerful, but only if they set the stage for everyday enlightened action. A smile for a stranger. A letter to our senator. Listening to someone we disagree with. Picking up that dusty old guitar. A bike ride instead of a car ride. Words of encouragement to someone in need. The more we honor the lessons of the 12th house, the more clearly we see that every minute and every situation of our life is equally precious on our path to creating positive change.

A New Progress, A New Evolution

Stepping beyond linear thought

Summer 2003 - Garlic and Grass

Not long ago a friend of mine locked himself into his room to work on a graphic software program that would allow its users to replicate almost any image available to the human eye with an accuracy previously unseen. After months of caffeine-soaked nights glued to his computer monitor, he emerged from his tech lab with big bags under his eyes and a triumphant smile on his face: Buzzing from the screen was a high resolution, 3-D oak tree, replete with pixelated sap, leaves, and acorns. In his excitement he ran into the living room to proclaim the news to his mother, who was wondering what her son had been up to all this time. Her immediate response upon seeing the oak tree flickering through his dusky room was, "Gee, you could've just opened your curtains and looked at the tree in the back yard."

Progress has taken a very prominent place in our collective consciousness. Especially in Western ideology, progress is the holy grail for everything just and honorable. Progress cures disease. Progress sends people to the moon. Progress protects us from nature. Progress saves time. Progress prolongs life.

But just as my friend was so rudely awakened by his mother's innocent observation, we are all today opening our eyes to a crossroads in history. It is time to ask ourselves whether we are chasing our own tails in the endless pursuit of progress and innovation. How important is a heart transplant if the air, water, and food are poisoned with chemicals? Where will birds nest after another marsh is paved over? What good is a mission to the moon while we're still pointing missiles at each other? When do we actually get to enjoy our "saved time" if we're so caught up "saving" it? Why are we so obsessed with living longer lives when we are less and less tuned in to the wisdom of our elders?

The Pitfalls of Linear Thinking

To the Western mind, everything functions within a linear framework, explainable in numbers and tangible results. Accumulate enough information, and you will be considered intelligent. Score a lot of A's in college and you will get a good job. Buy a bigger car and your life will be safer. Take a pill and your headache will go away. Increase your military budget and any threat will be reduced. Anything that gives the appearance of moving forward, of improving the current condition, is welcomed on our straight path to something better.

Thus we run up a freestanding ladder, reinventing the wheel a thousand times, just to find ourselves on the edge of this mountain looking back at a trail strewn with the debris of our unbalanced ecological, emotional, and spiritual budgets. Nuclear weapons, dams, genetically modified seeds -- all in the name of this thing called progress.

So what can we do to free progress from the stranglehold of rational, linear thought? Can we integrate the notion of progress into a more holistic way of understanding ourselves and the world around us? Can we progress in such a way that we don't have to destroy everything and everyone standing in our path?

There aren't simple answers to these questions, but the questions themselves are a form of solution. For in asking them we liberate ourselves from our assumptions about progress. Other paths of thought then open themselves to us, and we begin to discern the key aspects of our awareness that need to be taken into consideration when measuring or defining progress.

For example, in the market economy that we are living in today, pollution and depleted resources are cast aside as externalities. Gas prices do not reflect the physical cost of carcinogens in our bodies or of the fertile farmland paved over by a highway -- not to mention the collective spiritual cost of slowly being swallowed up in a cloud of smog. Truly, how could we imagine that such a one-dimensional system could ever be sustained without considering its true long-term costs?

Or take mathematics, the queen of all sciences, the laws upon which our entire technological paradigm is based. Its laws dictate that if there is no solution to a problem, then the problem doesn't exist. Can we really afford to put our trust in such a limited belief system?

Redefining Progress, Redefining Evolution

Life on Planet Earth is certainly more complex than math and blind markets allow, and we have come to a junction in human evolution where we need to freely admit a more diverse and balanced stream of knowledge. We cannot continue to blindly go where no man has gone before; we must instead learn to listen to the wise and refined voices of the past. We have to turn our inner ear to those who inhabited the planet for many cycles well before there ever were patriarchies, empires, and gun powder. We should listen as well to our contemporary poets and sages around the world. True knowledge is a complex ecosystem of ideas that cannot be claimed or owned by any one country, culture, or ideology.

Once we allow in the notion that progress isn't measured by how much information we can download, we'll become better prepared to dig deeper into our collective consciousness and actually process all the information we've accumulated. And it is this process of allowing ourselves to be confused and seemingly "unprogressed" that opens the door for growth and evolution to take place -- not only in our minds, but in our hearts and souls too. Albert Einstein, the poster child of Western rational thought, is a perfect example of how we can actually use our tremendous knowledge of science and technology to enter into a more multidimensional sphere of cosmic truth, if only we stop being so afraid of Not-Knowing.

When we ask ourselves the question, "Is our 21st century free market democracy more progressed than, say, a Native American tribe of hunters and gatherers?" we know that if we keep within the careful parameters of what a free market democracy defines as progress, the answer is yes. Life expectancy, personal mobility, and per capita income have all dramatically increased. But if we free ourselves of the straight jacket of linear thinking, we see that there isn't even a need to measure our achievement, or anyone else's. We can look at non-industrialized cultures not merely as primitive, but as vast sources of untapped knowledge. What if there were information so profound that no computer could ever relay it? Un-digitalized information on, say, how to be content with very little, or on how to embrace death as an integral part of life, or on communicating without language.

On the bridge between different roads to consciousness, the simplistic notion of progress turns into a boundless mosaic of evolution. True forward motion happens when we allow ourselves to be shocked and surprised by thoughts and feelings we didn't even know existed. This is not as complicated as it sounds. It could be a smile for a stranger. It could be the simple act of opening the curtain and enjoying the beauty of an oak tree.

Whatever it may be that helps each soul to evolve individually, we must now take the broader perspective of collective human life on Planet Earth. We can no longer afford to confuse progress with evolution. At this current juncture, today, humanity is invited to take a truly courageous and innovative leap and integrate concepts like slowing down, forgiving, and letting go of our existing ideas of progress. Empowering ourselves with such expanded views is the first, but most important step; for only if we can transform ourselves into multidimensional beings, will nations and systems be able to reflect this broadened range of ideas. Along this soul journey we might even find ways to live in peace with each other. Wouldn't that be progress?

A Vote That Counts

A German Green Speaks Out

October 1st, 2002 - San Francisco Chronicle

Imagine casting a vote for a party you like rather than voting for the lesser of two evils. Imagine one of every 11 people doing the same. And then, just for kicks, imagine being recognized as a respected, legitimate member of society for doing so, rather than being called a naive radical spoiling the party for the big leaguers.

This is what life is like for Green voters in Germany. After raking in an astonishing 8.6 percent of the vote in the Sept. 22 election (up from 6.7 percent in 1998), the party that introduced itself with bouquets of flowers to the German parliament more than 20 years ago has now become an established player in German politics: After the latest election, no significant decision in Germany will be made without a Green stamp on it.

Licking the seal on this year's absentee ballot was by far the most empowering feeling in my young life as a member of a democratic society. As a German expatriate, it has been difficult to watch so many of my friends here at the voting booth check the name of someone whom they consider a spineless puppet. The alternative is to go with a candidate who speaks with integrity and get crucified by a mob accusing you of throwing away your vote.

So while my poor American compatriots' ballots for Ralph Nader and his ideas of social justice, peace and equality went straight to the waste basket, I was invited to cast a vote that not only has significant bearing on whether Germany will support President Bush's war in Iraq, but also strengthens the Green Party's position of power within the governing coalition. Foreign Minister Joschka Fischer and Environmental Minister Juergen Trittin are just two of the prominent examples.

In November, Californians get to choose between two gubernatorial candidates nobody likes. Honestly, have you met anyone other than their campaign managers who is touting the virtues of Gov. Gray Davis or Bill Simon? So how come we don't hear more about Peter Camejo, the Green Party candidate for governor who addresses issues an average citizen can relate to, like universal health care or minimum wage?

The most obvious reason, of course, is that Davis' and Simon's campaign war chests are stuffed with donations from corporations, who drive the political agenda, drowning out many others. But more poignantly, it is the persisting image of third-party candidates as half-baked wing-nuts and tree-spikers that instills an irrational fear of the nonestablishment candidate in the American voter. Funny, when we actually get to hear Camejo, he sounds like the most levelheaded and knowledgeable kid on the block.

In a representative democracy such as Germany, where the "winners" take only as much power as the people give them and the "losers" still get to work for their constituents, third parties are at least allowed to state their case.

When the Greens first jumped the 5 percent hurdle in 1983, they were certainly a motley bunch of idealists, but given their chance, they stepped up to the plate and earned the people's trust. To put it in American terms: How do you ever find out if your rookie quarterback is a "gamer" if he never gets a snap?

Twenty years after being substituted into the game, the German Green Party has become an established playmaker. Many Germans vote Green, an act as ordinary as recycling or walking. Punks like myself actually get to participate in democracy, feeling like well-adjusted members of society and pushing voter turnout to over 80 percent. Now isn't that radical?

The Fear of Flying

On a Smoking Plane above the Pacific

March 2001 - Noe Valley Voice

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We seem to be having some problems ... aahhh ... there's a strong smell of gas or oil throughout the airplane ... aahhh ... we don't really know what's going on, but we've all got headaches up here in the cockpit. We've been cleared to dump our fuel and return to San Francisco immediately."

This was the announcement I had dreaded all these years of flying, replacing the captain's comforting and infallible observations about the weather with the notion that this could be our last dance.

We had been about an hour into our flight to Honolulu when the captain yanked the plane 180 degrees and the flight attendants ordered us with fickle smiles to buckle up and stow our food trays. The cabin that minutes earlier had been buzzing in anticipation of coral reefs and warm winter nights was now silent.

I have often thought about what makes people so afraid of flying. Is it the loss of control, giving you no chance to hit the brakes or dodge the bullet? Or is it simply the fact that human beings weren't meant to fly, and that forcing hundreds of tons of metal into thin air seems like such an act of arrogance?

As I was sinking into my window seat, getting ready for the longest hour of my life, it became clear that I had just begun the process of finding out about the roots of this fear. Floating 30,000 feet above the ground in a defective airplane would provide a steep learning curve.

Something happened at that moment. Maybe it was the sudden turbulence accompanying our descent into a thick cover of clouds, or the strange feeling of relief the acceptance of my own mortality had evoked, but I felt compelled to pull out a notepad and pen. Hunched over like a nearsighted professor, I began to write into my lap:

As life passes on with each and every second, sending us all on our various journeys into the sweet unknown, the one thing worth holding on to is the willingness to let go. Even our most valuable possession on this planet, our body, is temporary, borrowed, waiting to move on to its next destination in the grandest forum of exchange -- the universe. So ride that wondrous vehicle and see all it enables you to see. Make it big, make it small, take it fast, take it slow, look within yourself and listen to that which brings warmth and excitement to your heart. Travel light -- it enables you to go further and be more receptive to everyone else's journey.

The turbulence had subsided and our plane was releasing more gas from its wing tips into the dense fog around us. I could hear the steady hum of the engines, occasionally interrupted by the dentist-drill sounds of the landing gear.

Possessions can be of great value in the design of one's road map, yet beyond a critical mass they tend to obstruct our view. They also get rusty and outdated. It is amazing that with all of our modern technology we are no closer to knowing why we exist than our ancestors were. In fact, I would dare to say that we are so caught up in maintaining and improving our many articles of convenience that we hardly take time to engage in the process of wondering what it is we're trying to do and why we're doing it.

The smell of what seemed like burnt rubber had gotten so strong that people were pulling their shirts over their noses. No further news from the cockpit. The cabin was still silent.

Are humans more significant, now that we've managed to circle the earth in less than 24 hours? Are we really smarter because we can store a billion bits of information in a chip the size of a fingernail? Does that make the earth revolve faster? Does it create more water, oxygen, or even joy? How can we base our entire concept of economic interaction on growth, when the planet we're on is not expanding? What is progress? Why are we here?

Questions were shooting through my head like sonic arrows darting into wide-open spaces. The flight attendants were making sure that we were strapped into our seats, keeping their fronts professional in the face of the universal.

Not all questions demand answers. In fact, the ones without straight answers often open up more doors because they confront us with our greatest fear, the fear of not knowing. Acknowledging this fear leads me, in the strangest and most awesome of ways, to find comfort in it, exposing the vast possibilities that life in this grand universe has to offer. It's like a huge ocean, and I've just left shore.

A sudden thump ripped my thoughts away from the soothing image of water. I put away the pen and lifted my head to see what had happened. All around me people were talking and fiddling with their bags.

A friendly voice rang out from the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to San Francisco. The temperature is 56 degrees with a slight drizzle. Please remain seated until we've reached the gate and the captain has turned off the fasten seat-belt sign."

Speeding into the next Millennium

A perspective on the cultural and spiritual decay of Western Civilization

Fall 1999 - HeyWord! Journal

As the human express is quickly roaring into its third millennium after the birth of Christ, I can't help but desperately try to jam my foot on the brakes hoping to at least catch a glimpse of where it is headed. Not that the birth of Christ would be equally important to all humans or even mean anything to some, but this calendar seems to be the prevailing measurement of time in Western civilization, and it clearly is Western civilization that is shoveling the coal into the locomotive's furnace.

So we are rapidly approaching a major landmark in human history lending itself to evaluation, reflection and introspection. It is obvious that at any point in human history there has been confusion, but never before has there been such a large scale numbness and indifference. I feel like we have finally entered Huxley's Brave New World, more so than Orwell's 1984, simply because our growing removal from spirit is conveniently hidden behind plastic smiles and phony friendliness, a perfect setting for modern technology and the advanced stages of a disease called capitalism. The question is whether this fear to say anything critical and a general surrender to the status quo paved the way for our current system or whether it is the subliminal forces of this system that has made us into competitive sheep. Most likely they are both interrelated, and that's what makes it so hard to fight the ills or even locate the roots of the problem.

Only ten years ago it seemed very easy to point at communism as the culprit for your troubles, and even today, a lot of countries and people in this world can still hate each other for "good" reasons, but for us, there is nothing left but to turn inside, which is not always the prettiest sight to behold. Of course, we have found substitutes for everything we don't like about ourselves, like immigrants, gays or anyone else that suits our respective needs for blame, but they cannot quite fill our inner void. That's where technology and materialism come in handily: They are simple little distractions easily accessible, with no risk of self reflection. They are the ultimate drug, highly legal, and omnipresent. Every street corner offers a billboard fix, and if you turn on the radio, you get barraged with "friendly" advice for a better life. More importantly, it is not only an addictive drug but also a contagious virus spreading all over the world, and once it has invaded your neighborhood, you will find it almost impossible to get rid of.

You could go as far as to call the mass media the dealer, always making sure that there is an endless flow of meaningless, watered down chatter mixed with a fat dose of advertising for useless products. However, blame only serves as another link in the vicious cycle. Instead, we must hold the mirror to our own face and realize that the way things are arranged right now, we are all participants in this vortex of consumption.

Modern capitalism knows no enemies, it only buys them. And if you try to stand up against its force, you will either get bought, publicly ridiculed, ignored or even bulldozed. There are many examples: Countless native tribes all around the world have been fighting for centuries to prevent big oil and mining companies from exploiting the land, but we hardly ever hear about their struggles. And when they have come to the end of their rope and threaten to jump off a cliff, it becomes a blockbuster evening news story about some savages threatening to kill themselves. How convenient that this should all happen right after another mass suicide by people the consumer can relate to so little. Imagine the ratings!

But we don't have to look abroad to find examples of how anything that might inspire critical thinking gets dragged through the mud. Just look at the depictions of people protesting the senseless cutting down of the few remaining ancient redwood forests: A bunch of smelly, unshaven radicals blocking traffic to keep you, yes you, the law abiding consumer, from going to work.

We are coming to a major crossroads in human consciousness, time to look at the deeply rooted causes for our spiritual decay. We are all entangled in modern day consumerism, so this is not about assigning guilt. It is rather about each one of us looking deep inside and sorting out what is yours and what is the nameless, faceless link in the corporate chain. Should you find something buried underneath your society survival mechanism that you want to express, express it! Write, draw, scream, laugh, cry or whatever it is that needs to come out. I know a lot of people who have something to say but play the plastic smile game because they're afraid to be different and they don't think it will make a difference. But it will! If you stand up for what you believe in, you will first, and most importantly, reclaim your own integrity. Don't be afraid to be political, philosophical, or whatever else you want to call it. Politics has nothing to do with rich, complacent "professionals." Politics is interaction, it is you and I speaking up for ourselves whenever we feel like. Break up the boxes and labels we impose on ourselves, be a journalist, an artist and a politician at the same time. Be the freedom that this country takes so much pride in.

It is very understandable that we have become desensitized to much of what's going on in the world, despite, or maybe because of the so-called information revolution. Who could possibly keep up with all the sound bytes thrown at you every day. It goes in one ear and comes out the other. And that's how our lives have become: Always running, but never quite able to catch up. However, most good things take time, patience and good care, especially the physical, cultural and spiritual balance of planet earth and her inhabitants. Take the time now, listen to your heart, and let your voice be heard!